Prank war
by blazinggig-fox
Summary: Tala's favorite day: April Fools. Kai has had enough of Tala's tricks and both guys are trying to get each other. One way or another. T for total silliness, swearing, inappropriate usage of drink crystals. Do not attempt this with your friends or anyone.
1. Chapter 1

This is suppose to be up for April fools a loong time ago. But uh, now it's up. It ain't done yet but im working on it.

Hope fully get more up today.

Enjoy. Kai and Tala fun story dig it or lose it ^*^

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Prank War

* * *

The bright morning sun shone through the transparent window and right into a sleeping Kai's face. Kai yawned and slowly sat up and rubbed one eye with his hand, his crimson eyes shone like rubies in the light, causing Kai to squint from the brightness and mutter a curse under his breath. He turned his head to the calendar on the wall and his eyes shot open. It read April 1st, also known as April Fools. Or more like Tala's day. April Fools is like Tala's birthday, where he does anything you could think of, literally.

"Crap!" Kai mumbled as he numbly got up to take a wake up shower or more of a please-make-me-forget-this-day-forever one.

Tala came over to Kai's house the other day and that worried Kai a bit. How does he always find an excuse to crash at Kai's place? Not even Kai knew the answer to that. What if Tala had put something weird in one of the drawers or something, perhaps a lion or two? It's always possible with Tala. Kai shook his head and continued towards the bathroom. Kai was being very cautious of his surroundings, he looked around the hallway and peeked through the door, checking if Tala had booby trapped something. No sign. Yet. But still, it COULD happen.

The coast is clear. Kai felt really stupid, like in one of those James Bond movies where James is sneaking into their headquarters or something like that. He stepped in and closed the door behind him slowly. Kai checked the drawers for any kind of suspiciousness, nothing. Kai sighed in relief and stripped off his shirt, PJ pants, boxers and stepped into the shower tub.

'What if Tala was secretly recording him right now?' Kai thought. 'What if he's going to up it up on Youtube or Facebook? What if he- Stop! Don't think about it! He might be a stuck up total dickwad but he ain't that mean. Plus he knows that I'll eat him…well, no, not really, but I'll crush his balls that's for sure…'

Kai sighed and turned on the shower tap; the clear water striking against his thighs and chest, making him relax under the touch. Kai closed his eyes in contentment but quickly opened when he noticed something very wrong.

There was the shower tap.

There was the water splashing out of it.

The water was…bright YELLOW.

It looked horribly like piss. Kai gasped and stepped away from it. Then he realized it wasn't piss. It smelled fresh and it doesn't stink like the toilet. It was lemonade.

TALA.

Fuck! Tala got him. Kai tasted the water, yes, it is lemonade alright. Tala had put one of those damn drink crystals in the tap. One of the oldest trick in the moth eaten book, and it got the great Kai Hiwatari. Kai had thought that Tala would do something huge, like burn up his desk or anything he does normally, but drink crystals? Really? That wasn't a big trick, but big enough to piss the hell out of anyone.

Kai swore and took out the crystal package and washed and rinsed himself multiple times, even the shampoo won't wash away the strong stench of lemonade. It was infuriating. Who knew that lemonade could have such a strong smell to it? Kai shook his head and climbed out, pulled on a pair of boxers and went back to his room to get dressed.

When he was back in his room, Kai dug into his drawers and pulled out some clean clothes hoping that it would block out the lemonade scent a bit. In the end, he had a pair of black bondage jeans on, a white tank top, and a couple of wristbands and necklaces complimenting the rest of the outfit.(one of those Japanese street wear) It was the stuff he had from Japan and the only things he could find at the moment. Deeming the outfit acceptable to his standards, Kai grabbed his bag and stomped out of his room, treading down stairs almost slipping and muttering 'oh shit!' on the way.

"Kai what's that lemonade smell?" Susumu asked his son, when Kai flopped down on the chair.

"Hnnn…shut it…" Kai banged him head down on the table.

"Looks like someone has a hissy fit!" Susumu snickered behind his newspaper. Yes, his father has a way of making Kai talk.

"No I don't! It's just that…Tala put all the drink crystals in the tap…" Kai sighed out, downing a bit of juice.

"(snicker) You know, the more fruit you have the more you're going to smell like a fruit salad in the end of the day." Susumu joked, whilst getting a glare from Kai. Although it did make Kai laugh a bit.

"Dad…that's not cool…"

"I know…"

"Then why'd you say that?"

"Because…"

"Because?"

"You're stupid."

"……"

"Hahaha I'm kidding!

"I know know…"

"Anyways you better get going or you wanna live off of your old man and take a ride?"

"Live off of you?" Kai said with humor in his voice.

"…fair enough. Then let's go before your grandpa yells at us."

Kai came up with a plan to get Tala back. It's so simple, so bang on, it's defiantly going to work.

Perfect.

Just before the next class, when all the students went in the change rooms, Kai sneaked to the front change rooms. He had a girl's sign and a boy's sign. Kai grinned evilly as he stuck the 'girl' one to the boy's change room, and the boy's one on the girl's.

Excellent.

5 minutes later

Kai gave a cold stare when he saw Tala, as they were going to P.E class.

"So, Kai, d'you get my morning present?" Tala smirked his superior smirk.

"As a matter of fact I did…" Kai shot back, returning that smirk.

"Good, I can smell it…"

"Mhm…"

The two glared at each other for a moment until Tala went to change. Kai couldn't help but smirk when Tala entered the 'boy's' room without thinking.

Any second now.

"EEEEEKKKKKKK!!! TALA YOU PERVERTED CREEP!!!!" A loud thundering scream echoed through the whole place.

Kai laughed and laughed as the girls threw their stuff at the red head, who was running out of the change room in top speed. But it didn't end. No matter how many times Tala tried to explain and apologize, the crazy girls won't listen and continually throw their things at the poor teen.

Finally, the screams and yells faded away, and a tired and beat up Tala stumbled beside his 'friend'.

"Happy now?" Tala panted, clearly not enjoying it.

"Very much yes." Kai grinned at Tala, who playfully shoved Kai.

"Well, you know this isn't the end." Tala slumped down.

"You're on man."

"Oh you better believe it…" With that, their conversation ended.

Science was next.

Unfortunately, Mr VonDu, the science teacher does not accept anything that's lower than 90%, therefore making Kai's life a complete total mess at the moment. His grandfather not willing to except 'low' standards of marks, and for the fact he's part Asian, to people, they HAVE to get As for average. Plus Mr VonDu yelling in his face for 10 minutes straight, about how 'terrible' 86% is.

Not easy.

So Kai and Tala shuffled their way in, fighting for a good chair. Tala won in the end; Kai sending a death glaring him. Kai didn't like the look on Tala's face. It spelt smug all over. And smug's not good on April fools.

Not good at all.

Tala's on to something.

And Kai didn't like the look on bit.

"SO! I SEE ZAT VEE HAVE AVRIL FOOL SPIRIT EH?" Kai's thoughts were rudely interrupted but a booming Mr VonDu.

The class mumbled a bit, clearly scarred of the crazy teacher.

"Vell, I am NOT I r-r-r-repeat (tongue roll) NOT, tolerating zis 'fool sing' understand?!"

'Yes sirs' and 'corrects' came out.

Kai glared at Tala. Tala glared back, with amusement still upon his eyes.

Grrr.

"Today, I'm not going to teach a new unit!" Mr VonDu boomed.

The class yayed.

"QUIET!!!"

Silence.

"Good, now, Ze r-r-r-reason vhy iz because I need to talk to some of zee stoodentz. Ven I call your name, come in my office. Clear? Clear."

"Ooooo…Kai's in trouble Kai's in trouble…" Tala sang, rocking back and forth on his chair.

Kai wanted to tip that damn thing over. With Tala.

"Shut up Ivanov, I'm not the one that almost repeated the whole damn course." Kai shot back.

"So?" (shrug)

"Don't you care just a bit?"

"Nah."

Fucker.

Kai rolled his eyes and went back to whatever he was doing before the red headed disease struck.

But it didn't last long when-

"HIWATARI."

Kai froze and processed it in his mind. Tala was grinning now. That bastard. He did something.

Kai gave the Russian the finger and the execution signal with his thumb sharply wiping across his neck.

Kai approached Mr VonDu's office door. It felt like the dragon's lair, a cave. Kai curiously glanced in the crack of the door, seeing Mr VonDu sitting on his saggy royal blue chair, looking at some kind of paper.

"Err, Mr VonDu-

"Hiwatari, come here! Zit (sit)." The teacher pointed at a seat beside him. Kai sat down, feeling uneasy.

"Hiwatari!" Suddenly.

"Yes…sir…?"

"Overall I sink you've done a fair job zis semestal, but zere just von sing…" Mr VonDu started, analyzing Kai's grades in his head.

"One thing?"

"(sigh) Could you explain zis?" Mr VonDu handed Kai some papers, Kai taking them and having a look.

Kai's jaw dropped.

What. The. Fuck.

"Can you explain vhy you w-w-wrote boogerz in every question?" Mr VonDu asked, glaring curiously at Kai, who was still hanging there, with his mouth open.

True enough, only the word 'boogers' were written all over the sheet. Kai DID NOT write that. Then if he didn't… and other people wouldn't dare mess with him except for….

TALA.

THAT BASTARD.

There was "What is asexual reproduction?" Answer: Boogers. "Why can't humans reproduce without a partner?" Answer: Boogers. "Give three examples of DNA mutations: Answer: 1 boogers 2 Nose shit 3 BOOGERS!!! Draw a diagram of a mutated cell: It was a dark squiggle with boogers written on the side, topped it off with an arrow pointing at the squiggle. And on the name space place it wrote: Kai I-Luuurrrrvvveee- boogers Hiwatari. Then on the bottom of the page it read: Mr Vondu is a FAG. With a smiley face. You guessed it, on the front, there was a big fat 'F' written up.

Tala Tala Tala Tala TALA!!!

That kid's going to PAY BIG TIME.

Kai explained to Mr VonDu about the 'mistake' for 15 minutes to get it to process through the teacher's head that a certain 'someone' made a joke out of it. So luckily for Kai Mr VonDu gave him a break and scheduled a redo later on. And that thing was worth a chunk of grades.

Tala was laughing and chocking when Kai came out of the office, glaring at the redhead like there was no tomorrow. But Kai had to admit that was a really good one. He knew Tala would and could pull off something like that!

"I'm so getting you back Ivanov." Kai hissed at Tala.

"I'd like to see you try Hiwatari." Tala winked, sending Kai over the edge completely.

Oh he's gonna get it….

He's gonna REGRET it…

* * *

Send me some note wat u think. Reviews good, id be XX.

I dun care if u dun lik it, or luv it, or watever r plearsure is, im happy u spent time checking it out.

Thx

Blazy.


	2. Chapter 2

Hello, it's me, Blazy again.

It's been a while... A long while, especially for this story, which was mean to be written and published (COMPLETED) on April Fools, possibly centuries ago. Or rather that's what it seems like on ne?

I apologize sincerely to those who wanted to read more of it, which is probably everyone including me, the lazy slacker who only writes when inspiration comes... Rare these days.

Anyways, I will stop rambling and point out some parts of this chapter that are related to films. The "I'm gonna go... SHAVE." said by Raul is from She's the Man, one of my favorite movies. And the whole Planned Parenthood thing is from the Movie Mean Girls, also one of my favorite movies.

For those who do not know what Planned Parenthood is it's a center where girls can go and have secret abortions or anything to do with babies on that matter... It's very North American.

Without further ado, I'll let you read on now. If anything sounds wrong or bad or good just leave a review of it, I'm very rusty.

Enjoy!

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Prank War

(Chapter II)

Kai racked his brains with full force, thinking of ways to get the red headed devil back. After what Tala had done to him, Kai's not going to let him off that easily without a fight. The thought of Tala beating him in any way infuriated the younger teen even more; in fact, the more Kai thought about ways to get the redhead back the more violent his mind became.

But it can't be too violent.

Something tells Kai that involving a chainsaw and an electric stapler isn't a very smart idea. It would get messy, and it'll go to his permanent record.

'_Plus things would get rather dull without that crazy motherfucker…'_ Kai admitted inwardly.

BUT he will never ever admit that to Tala. He'll make fun of him for _"going soft"_ for who knows how long.

Then, the light bulb shone.

That's it, why hadn't he thought about this before!

It's the perfect prank. So ingenius, so maliciously sly, so disturbing for both him and Tala, so… soo…sooo…. EVIL.

Muahahahahahahaha.

Excellent.

Kai's lips pulled upwards into a devious smirk. If his plan works, there is a high possibility that Tala would be permanently scarred for life. But he has to act fast and quiet…

Like a ninja.

Kai cackled evilly, unaware he was actually physically able to cackle like this, but continued anyways, rubbing his hands together happily. Why he was so damn proud of making the wolf miserable even stumped Kai himself, it's not like holding it personal; okay, it is perhaps personal but it's for good measure.

And a wonderful laugh as that.

But first, Kai needed to talk to some people and make some calls.

* * *

Kai wasn't exactly fond of Julia. But she is needed in order for his master plan to work. Why her? Because as long as she can get amusement out of something she will do anything to satisfy her twisted ways. Kai now understands why Raul never wants to tangle with his older sister, and he respects that.

Furthermore, Kai was also well aware of the fact that he's always been a bit of a lady's man, which was kind of, no, INCREDIBLY annoying, especially that Hilary girl Tyson fancied and still fancies always tries to cut his hair these days… Which was weird, and scary… She said it was something for her "doll" but Kai didn't question it further.

Kai shook his head and took a deep breath, mentally preparing for the Julia creature.

'_Be nice… Be nice… Remember what you're here for Kai, it's worth it… Happy place happy place god I want my happy place…' _Kai thought while proceeding towards the female blader, who was currently screaming in Italian to her brother about something. Judging by the look on her face and the hand motions she's making, it seems that she wants Raul's opinion about her dress. Judging by Raul's facial expressions, it seems that he's either really constipated, or so bored it hurts.

Probably both.

'_Man, that kid just doesn't have the guts to deal with his own sister.'_ But then again, Kai thought, _'It is Julia after all.'_

The blue haired teen broke off his thoughts and approached them both. He needed his plan to work and he has to do it as soon as possible.

"Hey, Julia, Raul, how's it going?"

Both of them stopped jabbering and turned their heads towards Kai.

Was the great Kai Hiwatari really asking them about their day?

"Oh, Heyyyy Kaiiii I'm doing great what's up?" Raul sparked up, trying or desperately creating a diversion so he could escape from the wrath of Julia.

"That's good. I just want to talk to your sister about something." Kai gave a small smile, trying to be nice as possible.

"S-Sure! Go right ahead I was about to go… Do something anyways!" Raul ducked past Kai and Julia, trying to run off.

A pair of firm perfectly manicured claws gripped the brunette from escaping.

"Whoa whoa whoa where do you think your going?" The she-dragon asked her brother, who was looking like he'd shat himself.

"Um… Well Kai says he wants to talk to you and I was gonna go anyways to do something…" Raul laughed nervously.

"What something?"

"Stuff…"

"What kind of stuff?"

"…"

"Well…?"

"I need to go… SHAVE." The Italian ran off, heading towards the nearest restroom.

So he was constipated after all.

And bored.

"What the hell… Why did he just… He doesn't shave! He doesn't even have chest hair yet!"

WHOA, too much information.

"Anyways, Kai, what do you want to talk to me about?" the female F Dynasty member asked, twirling her hair and trying to "flirt" with the slate haired teen.

"I need a favor from you." Kai tried to ignore the flirting, but was in vain. "It's about Tala."

Julia thought for a moment.

"You want to date me and make Tala jealous that you have such a hot amazing sexy girlfriend like me?"

_What?_

"No, that's not quite the case…"

"Oh… Then what?" Julia pouted, but listened anyways.

"How much do you like Ming Ming?"

"…Scusi?" Julia looked quite taken aback by the comment.

"Well?"

"Are you saying that you'd rather go for Ming Ming than me?"

_The fuck… What's going on in that girl's head!_

"I will blatantly state this: I will never EVER be intrigued by Ming Ming and her, ugh bipolar personality."

"Oh… Okay then… How about me-"

"No."

"Fine. And Kai, isn't it obvious? Who likes Ming Ming anyways?"

True that.

Except Kenny.

But He's _"special". _

Kai sighed and continued, hoping it would just end quickly.

"I just want you to ring up Ming Ming's house and pretend your Parent Planning, tell her mom or whoever that she's knocked up, by Tala. Then I'll deal with the rest."

"Hahahaha that's gonna be so funny! Okay sure I'll do it!" The brunette nodded excitedly.

'Wow, that was easy.' Kai mentally hummed. "Thanks Julia, your awesome."

"No problem! But one condition."

Kai raised his eyebrow. He may dread the answer.

"How do you think of my new dress?" Julia giggled, whilst twirling around in that ghastly PINK very PINK and TURQUOISE floral "curtain" that was wrapped around her body.

_Fuck…_

_Pink and Turquoise do not match. _

_At least in Kai's eyes. _

_Whoever designed that dress must be blind. Or stoned. _

_Or possibly both. _

'_Honestly, it's horrid… But for the sake of the plan to go down…'_

"It's amazing." Kai tried not to laugh, motioning Julia to take out her phone and dial Ming Ming's home number.

"Thanks! My brother said that too!" The Julia creature beamed a bright smile, waiting for someone on the other end to pick up.

A few rings sounded and someone female on the other end picked up. Julia put it on speaker, so both of them could listen.

"Hello who is this?"

"Hi, this is… Kate…" Julia held back a snort, and nudged Kai when he snickered and asked why she chose "Kate".

"Kate?"

"Yes, is Ming Ming available?"

"No, but I can take a message from you, it's her mother. Who are you Kate?"

"I'm sorry, I'm Kate Masterson from Planned Parenthood, please let Ming Ming or Mr. Tala Ivanov know I have her test results, it's urgent thank youuu." There was a gasp from the other end, before Julia hung up.

There was a bit of silence before both teens burst out laughing, along with stomach clutching and panting for air.

It'll just be a matter of time before Ming Ming's mother contacts the school for Tala's home number.

_Ohhh this is going so well. _

"Tala's gonna be so pissed! Hahahaha!" Kai finally calmed down and straightened up. "Damn, and his dad's going to be furious… Scary Russian kind of furious…"

"Hey Kai?"

"Yeah?"

"Is it… I mean… Is Ming Ming really conceiving Tala's child?"

"… No. Ming Ming makes him scream. Not in that way either."

" Okay then! Good luck Kai! Hahahaha I'm gonna go stalk Ming Ming and find out what happens." With that, Julia ran off.

Kai shrugged and walked off towards his next class where Tala was as well.

* * *

"Soooo, I'm waiting for your big revenge Kaisy." Tala greeted Kai with a smirk, provoking the other teen.

"Patience is a virtue Tally." Kai smirked back when Tala frowned upon his nickname.

* * *

15 minutes later the speakers from the classroom announced that if Tala Ivanov and Ming Ming would please come to the office immediately.

Tala looked confused and went anyways, he hasn't blown up anything or destroyed any school property today, so why are they knacking at him? Furthermore why Ming Ming as well? Ew, Ming Ming had always creeped Tala out. Especially her voice, appearance and personality and- oh wait, Ming Ming in general just creeped Tala out especially.

And not in a good way either.

Kai tried to look and remain innocent, but inwardly he was having a blast. He wanted to watch and see what happens, probably lots of yelling and accusing and misunderstandings. And imagine all of that in Russian dialog. Damn he was missing out!

It seemed like hours until school's dismissed, and Tala has yet to emerge from the Principal's office. Ming Ming has gone home with her mother, and both of them were crying, her mother especially, who was bawling. Ming Ming doesn't seemed to be that phased by it, she seems to be only crying because she broke her nail; which explains her holding out her middle finger awkwardly.

Also, Kai could hear Russian language still being shouted out, and from what the younger teen could make out, it seems that Tala's dad was calling him a "disgraceful womanizer."

Followed by "Lust wolf"

Then accompanied by "A sexually active mess-up"

Other things were thrown at him as well, like "why can't you just be normal like Bryan (whaaaatttt)" and "Can't you keep it in your pants until college."

Oh, and the "You are totally grounded for eternity young man."

Kai snickered at those remarks. It was rare hearing a father say that to his own son.

And that hearing Bryan and normal in the same sentence.

* * *

Half an hour later Tala and his dad finally emerged from the office, both looking very tired and un-amused. Tala's dad grumbled about getting the car ready and will be waiting for Tala to come out. The redhead has somehow convinced his father that it was a prank played by his so-called "friend". Though it did take a while to do so.

Tala saw Kai smirking and he knew what happened. Extremely pissed off, Tala launched himself towards the bluenette and smacked him around the head. Kai was laughing too hard to really care.

"Fuck you Hiwatari! Did you tell my dad that I… Ew… Knocked up Ming Ming?" Tala had finally stopped trying to hit Kai, who was still having one heck of a time.

"Technically, I didn't phone anybody, I had some help from Julia." Kai pried Tala's threatening hand away from his neck and body.

"You and that evil bitch paired up? How could you I'm your friend!"

"It was for your own good Tal, I warned you ahead of time that I was going to get you back remember?"

"Still! That wasn't funny! Do you know how scary it is to sit beside that weird chick for hours?" Tala panted, his eyes looking very serious and afraid.

"Let's call it even then, you screwing up my exam and I screw up your mind, fair enough." Tala gaped, was Kai really that evil at times?

"Fuck… Okay I'm going to get you back Hiwatari, you better watch it." The wolf glared back walking towards his car.

"Try me Ivanov, April Fools is almost over, just give it up!"

"NEVER!" Tala cackled evilly and got in the car, laughing like a maniac he was as they drove away.

"I can't let Tala beat me… I'll have to come up with something extra as well." With that, Kai headed home as well, hoping to get a bit of peace and quiet at first.

_Or, so he thought._

_To be continued… _


	3. Chapter 3

Heyo, it's me Blazy again, sorry about that for not uploading in a while.

But I have finished it, the ending is crap but I had to end it somehow...

So... Once again, there are probably mistakes in here but I can't be half-assed to look at every single letter to pick it out. I'm currently having pointless issues with a very jealous girl, that is probably why I haven't updated. And that school has started.

Lovely isn't it?

Anyways, enjoy!

Blazy~

* * *

Little did Kai know something, or rather, someone was following him from behind.

A certain redhead, who's extremely pissed off and ready for revenge to be exact.

Tala, who had somehow convinced his dad to let him stay at Kai's house/mansion for the night, snuck behind bushes and ducked in corners in trail of the slate haired teen. There was no way Kai was going to get away with his little stunt. Even if it meant destroying Kai's belongings during the process, all to which Tala would be all too delighted to oblige.

Now, to just think of a way to get Kai back…

Kai doesn't seem to have noticed that something redheaded and Russian was following close behind him. Or at least Tala thought, for Kai continued to walk towards his gigantic mansion in which he calls "home". The sheer size of Kai's crib scares Tala, as if a guy like Kai needed all that to live comfortably. Plus a warehouse as well! But his evil grandfather does live with him… along with his father, and mother, and-

Tala shook his head and blocked his brain out of the useless processing of people that live with Kai. That was not important. What was important was to think of a new plan to terrorize Kai, or at least annoying the fuck out of him.

The older teen stopped in his tracks as Kai suddenly stopped walking, and stood still.

Fuck.

The former Blitzkrieg Boy held his breath and quickly hid behind a convenient bush, desperately hoping that the other teen hadn't spotted him. Tala sighed as Kai started to walk again, whilst following close behind once more. A mewing sound was heard and as Tala looked back, he realized why Kai had stopped.

A black cat.

Great.

Usually Tala wasn't very paranoid but this time he hoped that the "bad luck" would be for Kai. Since it encountered him first.

Tala kept on walking and trying to think of a good way to get the cheeky little bastard back. It's not going to be too easy, since Kai was already alert and expecting him to make his move. So therefore, sneakiness is required.

A horn honked and a pizza delivery motorbike drove passed Tala and Kai.

Bingo.

Tala couldn't help but grin at the idea.

It's not the prank of the century, and loads of people have done it before, but it sure will take the nick out of anyone, including the little prat called Kai.

It was so obvious, and simple at that.

Why not order a shitload of pizzas and dump them off at Kai's place, there's no way he can finish them all, including his family or servants. Added note on that he'd have to pay a ton of money, including tip! While Kai is distracted and has to pay, he'll just conveniently show up and ask if he needed help finishing all that, and he could stay/invite himself overnight and set up more pranks on him. Tala snickered evilly and pulled out his phone, dialing the pizza delivery store.

"Hi, could I please get like 20 boxes of whatever kind of Pizza you have available please? Thank you." Tala told them Kai's address and hung up, trying hard not to burst out in pure evil laughter.

"Ohhh, Kai's going to have a cow!"

…

Kai finally reached his house, opening the front gate and making his way up the drive way and towards his house. For some odd reason, the dual-haired ten could sense a familiar but unknown presence lurking around him, if only if he knew what it was. Like as if he was being _followed_, but Kai ignored those thoughts. He had a rough day and needed a rest.

But that was only wishful thinking.

"Excuse me, are you Mr. Kai Hiwatari by any chance?" Kai turned around to see a man holding a slip of paper, which contained Kai's address and what seemed to be a order list. "You called?"

"Yes, that's me. I called?" Kai raised his eyebrow.

"Er, you called and asked for 20 boxes of pizza to be delivered to this address?" The man pointed to his motorbike, on top of it loads of pizza boxes were packed, squished and stuffed, strapped onto the backseat.

"I think you've got the wrong address. I didn't order any of that."

"Well, I'm afraid this is the address given, and you'll have to pay for them. That would be 250 dollars sir."

Kai raised his other eyebrow. There's no way anyone would order that much pizza in his house, and the boy was sure he himself didn't phone them up. The bluenette growled as there's no way in escaping this. Reluctantly taking out his wallet, Kai handed all his cash to the delivery man who was half expecting a tip, in which Kai then emptied all his change.

Now his wallet looks like a pathetic homeless… Hobo.

Kai himself feels like a pathetic homeless hobo.

Who would order so many pizzas in the first place? Then conveniently shipping it all to his residence? Must be a mistake… A Joke played on him?

Could it be…?

"Heyo, Kai? Mind if I stay over tonight?" Out of the blue Tala emerged, a huge grin plastered over his face. Kai realized immediately what had happened.

TALA.

THAT BASTARD!

"Fuck you Ivanov! You did this!" Kai looked murderous. Tala laughed.

"I did what?" The redhead smirked innocently. "Oh Kai, what's with all those pizzas? Are you having a party?"

Kai death glared him and growled under his breath. If only he could strangle Tala without going to jail for it…

"It's okay Kai, seeing as I'm such a good friend, I'll help you finish those pizzas." The wolf smirked some more. "I'll even keep you company."

"You just want to eat free food and set up traps right?" Kai smacked Tala around the head.

"Chillax Kai, I'm just being a good friend, I'll even save you from obesity!" Tala pouted back.

"By getting heart disease yourself?"

"We can split it."

The younger teen raised his eyebrow at the last remark but sighed and beckoned Tala to carry the pizzas in. Kai knew this was a terrible idea letting the Tala vermin loose in his house, but Kai is somewhat mentally prepared, if not physically. Plus he'll get Tala back one way or another, due to the fact that he basically gave all his money away because of his "best" pal.

"Oh, make yourself at home why don't you?" Kai sneered as the Russian blader zoomed towards the living room couch and plopped himself comfortably against the cushions.

"Shut up, you love me." Tala ducked as Kai aimed a pizza box towards his head.

"Not likely." Kai shoved the redhead's bum away with his foot and sat himself down on the couch. Thank god his parents or grandfather aren't home today.

…

The two boys have somehow managed to finish 5 large boxes of pizza, which left still a shitload to eat.

"I'm going to use the toilet. I may be sick." Tala moaned, clutching his stomach in pain.

"Thanks for that, Tala."

"Yup. Definitely need to go." The older teen stood up and hurried out of the living room, quietly chuckling to him-self.

He wasn't sick. Tala just wanted an excuse to go play his other trick on Kai.

Proceeding towards the kitchen, making sure Kai wasn't following him or anything; Tala opened the drawers in search of what he needed. Letting out a little ah-hah he had found what he needed in order to pull his prank off.

Plastic wrap.

It's quite simple really.

Tala then proceeded towards the nearest bathroom. He went in and closed the door, and pulled out the plastic wrap. Lifting the toilet seat up, the readhead then stuck the wrap onto the surface rim where the bowl was. Wrapping it in a thin layer, and looking almost transparent, Tala grinned at his masterpiece. Putting the toilet seat back down, and just when Tala was going to go back to the living room, he noticed a tiny bottle of something that was left at the sink. The Blitzkrieg boy looked at it some more, and realized that it was laxatives. Then the greatest and most disgusting idea struck him.

He can sneak some of the laxatives into Kai's pizza and he'll eat it, then BAM Kai will go running to the nearest toilet in sheer emergency.

So gross and evil… It's almost sadistic. Dark humor as some people call it.

Hiding the laxatives in his jean pocket, the older boy retreated back to the living room, where his un-expecting friend was. Making sure he looked innocent enough, Tala seated launched back onto the couch.

"I feel sorry for my toilet." The bluenette snorted.

"How rude! I even took the courtesy to flush this time."

"_This time?"_ Kai raised his eyebrows.

"Look! There's a Koala!" Tala yelled suddenly, pointing out the window. Kai turn around without thinking, to where Tala was pointing. Tala then took the chance to slip all the laxatives into the nearest pizza beside them. It was so swift, as if it was imagination itself.

"Where? I don't see- Wait Tala there's no fucking koalas in Japan!" Kai mentally slapped himself for acting like Tyson. Even Tyson wouldn't believe that there's Koalas in Japan. Unless some thickhead wrote it on Wikipedia, Then Tyson would most likely believe it. And perhaps plagiarize it on his homework if asked.

"Oh, I was just… Hallucinating."

"How thick can you get?"

"Shut up Hiwatari, just eat the damn pizza." Tala tossed it to Kai, who just rolled his eyes but took a bite anyways.

Perfect.

Now just a few minutes and the plan will take effect.

Kai glanced at Tala strangely for the redhead looked happy, a little too happy. In fact, he looked like he's going to shit himself and rainbows will come out the end. There's something he's not telling him. But the answer came quite quickly.

"Aw, shit." Kai whispered as he felt his stomach turn inside out. It travelled lower and lower until…

Yup, literal shit.

Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck. Kai immediately sprinted towards the bathroom, trying everything he can to hold it in. It wasn't easy.

Kai almost broke open the door and without looking, pulled down his jeans and boxers and sat down the toilet, whilst Tala standing by the doorway laughing his ass off.

The sounds that were emitting from his body even shocked the boy himself. Never had Kai or Tala knew he was capable of producing such sounds. This just made Tala laugh harder, who was now pressed up against the wall trying to keep his balance and painfully clutching his sides. Sadistic or not, this was just too funny. Although Kai on the other hand, did not find this amusing one bit.

Tala jumped when he heard a scream, immediately knowing what happened. It looks like Kai had just realized his plastic wrap comeback. This is going to be very messy, figuratively and literally.

"TALA! WHEN I STOP SHITTING MY BOWELS OUT I'M GOING TO FUCKING HUNT YOU DOWN AND KILL YOU!" Kai roared through the bathroom, clearly unimpressed by Tala's doings. Especially now that all the shit's going everywhere.

Both mentally and intestinal wise.

"That is, IF you stop shitting your bowels out!" Tala called back, whilst earning a growl, which reduced pained moan from Kai. Even the redhead felt some sympathy for the younger teen, which quickly replaced by laughter at the thought of the Great Kai Hiwatari who now has uncontrollable bowel problems at the moment.

Seriously. Kai. Hiwatari. Bowel problems. You usually don't even put them in a sentence together.

Now imagine that the front page of the newspaper: "Former Bladebreakers' captain and member of the Blitzkrieg Boys, the mysterious and cold Kai Hiwatari, who is currently suffering from uncontrollable bowel contraction. Will he ever stop? Find out on pages here and there."

Yeah, that kind of ruins his whole reputation.

Thankfully, the press doesn't know. But unthankfully, a certain redhead knows.

And now Tala is experiencing it first hand, who knew laxatives could be so disgusting? The older teen mentally noted to him self to never try it out.

"TALA YOU'RE GOING TO CLEAN ALL THIS SHIT UP DO YOU HEAR ME!?"

"FUCK NO! I am not cleaning your shit up for you! Do it yourself, since it's yours in the first place!" Tala yelled back.

"You caused this!"

"No shit Sherlock but I'm not cleaning your bloody waste!"

A while later Kai's moaning and intestinal sounds have finally calmed down, Kai emerged out of the now ruined bathroom, looking very grumpy and weak. Who could blame him? Emptying your body isn't a very pleasant feeling.

In the end Kai made the Butler clean all the mess up. As you know, how they're hired to do it and everything. Just usually not something like this. The poor butler didn't look too happy about it, but was wise enough to obey.

But Kai is furious. Tala now has been physically abused and has a big lump on his head. This wasn't enough to get him back, and Kai was sure going to go extreme, just like how Tala went extreme with his bowels. This was why just before Kai came out of the bathroom, the bluenette found some of the hair bleach his mother had under the sink. He put it in his pocket and went out. Kai was going to make Tala regret what he had done. He was going to make him regret it permanently.

Kai went upstairs to his bedroom, and went through his drawers for superglue. The younger teen then went to his own bathroom, which Tala would be using tonight. Taking a shower himself first, Kai set the items by the sink and started to strip down. The scarlet eyed boy vaguely remember Tala going upstairs after getting beaten up by him, but he wasn't in the room or bathroom. Probably somewhere in the living room lounging around unproductively like the unproductive useless fucktard he was. Or so, in Kai's eyes. Kai pulled off his boxers and stepped into the shower and turned it on. He closed his eyes and breathed out, trying so desperately to stay calm.

All the attempts of that were ruined, when Kai started to see something very wrong. It's not even funny this time.

Red blood was dripping down!

Kai yelped and immediately stepped away from the dripping substance that was pouring onto his body. It was deep red, and was coming out of the shower tap. Wait, no it's bright red, and it smells like… Cherry… Coming out of the shower tap! The bluenette cursed and unscrewed the tap once again, to find yet another pouch of ice crystals stashed/shoved up the shower tap. This time it was Cherry.

Why, oh why does he have to be friends with a psychopathic drink crystal obsessed freak?

Kai literally screamed out loud this time, and he knew Tala must be smirking at his little trick one Kai. This is the third time in a row. Just how much does Tala want to make Kai's life a living hell? Kai didn't understand how one guy could be so aggressive and evil and childish at the same time. What did he actually do to deserve all this? Kai's always been a good little boy doing his homework, getting good grades, helping his teammates out when needed/at verge of destruction. Maybe he was a bigger jerk in his past life, or god just hated him. And Kai isn't even religious.

Kai concluded that Tala just has too much free time. Hence all the randomosity he had to put up with all these years. If randomosity is even a word. Nah, there are no lables for Tala.

Now thanks to the redhead Kai now smells like fruit punch. No matter how much Kai tried to use shampoo, conditioner, body wash, toothpaste (?) .The younger teen chucked the drink crystal pouch in the can after he wrapped his waist with a towel, and shook all the water out of his hair. The bluenette grabbed the hair bleach and emptied out his shampoo and conditioner, whilst dumping all the bleach into the bottles. Twisting the lids back on, Kai squeezed some superglue onto the rim of the toilet seat. Kai now has no mercy for his former captain. He needed to teach Tala a serious and harsh lesson about messing with him and his now almost paralyzed bowels. Kai knew Tala would probably get him back in some form of way, but he didn't care.

He'll show Tala that if he messes with the bull, he'll get the horns. In this case, bleach and superglue.

When Kai came out of the bathroom, Tala was now bouncing in one place on his bed, smirking up at him.

"Sooo, did you like my surprise Kai? Wasn't it very, tasteful?" Tala burst out laughing evilly after that rolling around on Kai's massive bed earning a glare from the slate haired teen. "At least it'll wash away your crap smell."

"Gee thanks Tala I'll take it into account." Kai snorted putting on a clean pair of boxers and sweatpants, leaving his torso bear.

"Anyways, I'm off to cleanse myself from getting contact with you, ta-ta Kaisy." Tala yelped when Kai whipped his towel at his face, but tsked and proceeded into the bathroom anyways.

Tala was too good in a mood to care about Kai's frustrations right now he can go have a wank for all he cared. The redhead took off his shirt and jeans, throwing them in the corner, stepping into the shower he took off his boxers, and threw them in the corner as well. Making sure Kai had removed the ice crystals from the shower tap Tala turned on the water, feeling the warm water splash his body. Tala rubbed his face with his hands and relaxed under the comfortable feeling. The redhead closed his eyes with wet his hair over the shower, reaching for the shampoo and conditioner bottles that Kai had tampered with. Completely in his relaxed state, the taller boy squirted some of the shampoo into his hand and rubbed it into his hair, massaging it into his scalp thoroughly. Completely and utterly unaware of what he was really doing, Tala had decided to leave the "conditioner" in for a while, to let his hair soak it up and become soft.

By the time Tala rinsed all the bleach out, he still hasn't noticed what went wrong. The redhead stepped out of the shower and dried his hair with the towel, while wiping the foggy mirror, which bombarded him with ugly reality. He looked at his reflection. His reflection looked back at him.

His hair was bright orangey-yellow. Orangey. Yellow. That's not even a proper colour.

"WHAT THE FUCK!?" Tala shrieked and grasped his hair, feeling it and hoping that will turn back to its original colour. The former redhead gasped when a bit of his hair came off in a chunk from where he had grabbed it. How did this _happen?_ This cannot be happening. His beautiful red hair is now ruined!

Tala let out a disgruntled sob and burst open the bathroom door, and ran out into Kai's room, completely starkers. Kai chocked when Tala ran out, due to his utter lack of coverage and the orangey-yellowy grass that looks suspiciously like the wolf's hair. Tala looked so messed up, even Kai forgot to laugh. The bluenette watched in mild amusement as Tala stormed around his room, arms flailing in random directions, naked, and hysterically cursing in Russian. The whole sight was just silly.

"Tal, calm the fuck down damn it." Kai threw the empty bottle of bleach at Tala's vibrant head, which bounced and fell onto the floor. Tala stopped his random ranting and picked up the bottle, and frowned.

"Hair… Bleach?" Tala furrowed his eyebrows, thankfully still his natural colour. "Kai? What's this?"

Kai raised his eyebrows. "Are you that daft? It's bleach. For your hair."

"Yes yes damn it I know what bleach is! I meant to say, WHY do you have it?" Tala's crystal orbs snapped in realization to what had happened. Kai wasn't kidding when he said he would get revenge. He can be a real bitch when he wanted to be.

"Kaiiii you went overboard! Now I look like some kind of… weird blonde rapist!"

"Well know you know you shouldn't paralyze other people's bowels!"

"How am I going to face the world nowwwww!" Tala actually looked like he was about to cry. Tears were threatening to fall from his eyes. Oh for heaven sake man it's just his hair!

"Okay Tala stop freaking out just dye it back!" Kai was seriously beginning to question Tala's health.

The older teen immediately stopped crying and glared. "Oh yeah, why haven't I thought of that."

Yup. Kai is definitely worried about the boy.

"I-I will get you back Hiwatari!" Tala pointed an offending finger towards the younger boy, backing into the bathroom and shutting the door.

Once inside again, Tala leaned over the sink and washed his face, trying hard to think of a way to get Kai back as soon as possible. He just needed to relax first and think it over. Yes, that's it, breathe in, and out, inhale, exhale. Tala closed his eyes and sighed, he had to admit Kai pulled a good one. But no matter, he was the best prankster in the world, and he will put Kai in his place! Maybe he should sit down and think this over, Tala always thought evil things over while he's sitting down.

Ah, the toilet is right over there!

Tala smiled to himself gleefully and he sat straight down the toilet seat, little did he know what a huge mistake that was. The redhead's eyes snapped open he realized something sticky under his butt. He tried to lift himself up, but all attempts are in vain. He was stuck. His naked butt is beginning to hurt from trying to pull from the seat.

This is so embarrassing.

Tala turned red as his previous hair and shouted on top of his lungs.

From outside, Kai cackled evilly, grabbing his cell phone and entering into the bathroom. You have got to admit that watching Tala desperately trying to pry his ass away from the toilet seat while completely starkers is extremely funny. Kai stood there and laughed, putting the phone into video mode. Tala immediately realized what Kai was doing and tried to cover him self up as best as possible, but failing miserably.

"Hahahaha wait until this goes up on Youtube!" Kai is seriously loving every minute of this.

"No stop! Fuck…" Tala buried his face in his hands, much to embarrassed to do anything now.

"On one condition."

Tala groaned.

"Okay fine, what is it?"

"Stop all this shit, give me back my money, and admit I'm better at pranks than you."

"NEVER!"

Wait, isn't that three conditions?

"I'm about to press the upload button." Kai's fingers loomed over the button.

"GAH OKAY FINE! I'LL STOP AND I'LL GIVE YOU THE BLOODY MONEY BACK, BUT DON'T EXPECT IT ANYTIME SOON!"

"Annnd?"

"… You're better than me."

"What? I didn't hear you, I'll just press upload now…"

"FINE! YOU'RE BETTER THAN ME! KAI'S BETTER THAN ME! HE FUCKING GLUED MY ASS TO THE TOILET SEAT! HE'S A PRANKING GENIOUS!"

"Much better, but I think I'll hang on to the video for a bit longer." Kai smirked deviously.

Tala gave him a look of disbelief, and flopped down, well not really flopping down but dangling his arms and hand. His butt was still firmly attached to the seat.

"You are… so… evil…"

"I've been told."

"Just help me out of this." Tala finally admitted defeat for he had had enough of this year's April Fools, thanks to Kai. Kai rolled his eyes and begin trying to detach Tala from his toilet. Of course, he didn't touch Tala's ass. That would be gross, and gay. He just pulled Tala's arms and after a while of continuous painful pulling and tugging, pop goes Tala and his bum.

Since Tala had agreed to Kai's conditions, he couldn't do anything to him now. Sighing Tala rubbed his painful ass and both teens went out of the bathroom, finally calling it peace.

That is, until next year.

And the year after that.

You get the picture.

* * *

End.

Told you the ending sucked.

Reviews are most welcome, no matter how random or vicious they are.

:D


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